Pregnancy series: Part 3 -- Body image and the second trimester

Hello, dear friends and readers!

So, today I will be discussing a topic that I honestly thought I would struggle with more during pregnancy: body image.

Now, I should add that I am currently still in the beginning of my third trimester, so I might encounter more difficulties with this topic as I continue in my pregnancy. In other words, I have more expansion to experience! But I wanted to share with you several elements of this discussion that have helped me to perhaps avoid some of the common pitfalls involved with body image insecurity during this time of life.

Let's get started!

In my own experience, body image wasn't truly an issue until my pregnancy became more visible. When I first started noticing "the bulge," I think I had barely entered my second trimester, maybe around week 16 or 17.

It began with what I can only call stubborn chub. Although not substantial, I noticed a slight weight gain around my midsection that would NOT budge when I wore regular pants or skirts. Thus, stretchy pants became a necessity in order to avoid discomfort while working or just doing normal things at home.

One very positive part of developing a bump had to do with the sheer relief I experienced after struggling with morning sickness during my first trimester. When the time of the bump came upon me, I felt encouraged because it meant that my baby was growing and taking on more of the hormonal load of the pregnancy. Although experts have not yet found a consistently proven cause of morning sickness, I discovered in my reading that there is a theory linking a heavier amount of hormones during pregnancy with nausea and vomiting.

A second piece of this picture for me had to do with the overwhelming and miraculous reality that a baby was ACTUALLY taking form inside of me! Becoming a mother has brought me so much joy and such a variety of moments to simply bask in awe. God made the female body to be both fascinating and ridiculously beautiful, you guys!

As I move on to more personal thoughts, I would like to add that without my sweet husband Kris, I am certain that body image would be a much larger challenge for me (no pun intended). He encourages me every day to dwell on the beauty of motherhood. According to him, even when I feel icky and huge -- and when I haven't put on a lick of makeup or taken a shower yet -- I am still lovely and feminine and attractive. In his eyes, becoming a mother has made me absolutely alluring.

I cannot tell you how grateful I am to be married to such a kind, thoughtful man! Truly, I do not deserve him, and I thank God all the time for the privilege and blessing of being his wife. Neither of us has achieved perfection, and we definitely struggle with our own selfishness and with miscommunication and misunderstanding sometimes, but I would not trade my marriage to him for the world. I love him with a fullness that continues to grow and to surprise me every day, and his love both humbles and delights me. I wish everyone could have someone like him in their life!

Thank you for bearing with me through the gushing session! I will now continue with my topic.

In order to simplify common body image issues during pregnancy and to offer practical solutions, I would like to summarize my three largest "problem areas" as follows: clothing, skin, and insensitive commentary.

Earlier in this post, I mentioned stretchy pants. Even using the term "stretchy pants" brings me back to that one scene from Nacho Libre... And induces fits of giggles! But on a more serious note, feeling like you don't fit into any of your pants can be disheartening, and I know that for myself, finding at least one pair of comfortable, work-appropriate jeans became an absolute necessity. Knowing that I would need to wear them consistently -- and thus find a higher quality product -- I chose to check out Stitch Fix.*

At first, I was a little intimidated because I had never used their services before, and I wasn't sure how to go about it. Visiting their site, however, I soon found that the whole process was pretty straightforward.

Basically, as a customer, you fill out a style questionnaire and are then assigned a stylist who curates a box for you. The box costs you nothing except shipping (I'm fairly certain), especially if it is your first time using Stitch Fix. If you choose to keep any of the items they send, you are then charged for them and simply return the remaining items via an enclosed mailing bag (with shipping prepaid).

Quite honestly, even the lower cost items were a little spendy for me, so I stayed selective and only kept one pair of stretchy dark wash jeans and a lighter-weight T-shirt. If you are looking for high quality maternity items and have a little extra cash allocated, I would definitely recommend Stitch Fix to you.

But if you're looking for comfortable and stylish maternity wear in a more budget-friendly range, I have personally found great pieces at Target, Walmart, Old Navy, thredUP (an online consignment shop), zulily, Ross Dress for Less, and -- if you are local to the Bellingham area -- Wee Ones Reruns (next to Trader Joe's).

I did not go crazy, but I tried to augment the clothing I already had that was weather-appropriate and flowy enough to not restrict my growing bump. Maternity leggings and dresses have been especially helpful, not to mention cute and fun to wear!

A second, much less enjoyable problem area for me has been skin issues. The pregnancy glow of myth and legend may be just that... myth and legend. At least, this has been my reality. I have broken out more in the past six months than I have since high school!

In order to alleviate some of the accompanying insecurities, I have actively tried to drink more water, walk or perform light exercise more frequently, wash my face (both thoroughly and consistently), and -- quite frankly -- not care.

Most of my workdays begin with a 4:30 a.m. wake-up call, which means that I barely stumble out of bed, eat breakfast, and gather everything I need before heading out the door. I don't really have time to fret over my face. Instead, I choose to focus on the good, difficult work that my body is doing in creating a little human being, and I simply refuse to stress about it.

Also, taking the occasional warm bath (not too hot... you don't want to overheat the baby) and using a gentle face mask can sometimes make you feel a bit better. Just sayin'.

The final and most challenging part of body image during pregnancy is insensitive commentary. Luckily, the truly horrendous instances have been few and far between, but as you can probably imagine, thoughtless words from other people are really difficult to control and also a bit challenging to deflect.

Honestly, I think pregnancy makes relatively normal people just act strange, awkward, and uncommonly rude sometimes. This phenomenon continues to surprise me. I've heard things like, "Oh, you are SOOOOO big! You must be carrying twins!" and, "Wow! That bump must have grown OVERNIGHT! You look way larger today than you did yesterday!"

Luckily, I work in a community where most of my coworkers and customers are much nicer and less likely to say silly things to me. But if you should encounter rude or unnecessary comments like the above, it could help to remember all the kind, thoughtful things people have said, and the reality that everyone's body is different and every pregnancy will look different. You are not inferior to any woman, simply because you may not have a perfectly round, basketball-shaped bump. We all carry babies in a unique way, and you are beautiful JUST. THE WAY. YOU ARE! Please remember how precious you are to God and how beautiful your job is as a mom. You can do this!

Once again, thank you so much for visiting my blog! I appreciate you all, and I welcome your stories and experience. If you have any helpful tips to share, feel free to comment below or start a discussion on the Facebook page for Mama Smith Writes.

Soli Deo Gloria.

- Mama Smith

*Just a disclaimer: This is not a sponsored post, and I am not being reimbursed in any way by the companies, sites, or stores I referenced here. I mention them merely to offer my own personal experience and hopefully assist others.

Stock image from Pexels.com