A moment with Mama Smith...
Welcome to the first "moment with Mama Smith"!
From time to time, I would like to invite you into the details of my life and offer a more laid-back update on my pregnancy and things I have been thinking about and doing at the present moment.
As this is a new format, I would appreciate your feedback! Please feel free to let me know what is working and what could be improved by leaving comments below or on the Facebook page for Mama Smith Writes.
Anyway, here is a quick update for you all. I am currently in my 31st week of pregnancy and feeling pretty good, physically speaking! I am keeping the nausea at bay, both because my body is naturally dealing with it in a more productive manner and also because I am still taking a very effective anti-nausea medication (for more details on this medication, feel free to read my first blog article in the pregnancy series).
Heartburn has definitely become the most present and irritating symptom right now, but my doctor suggested Pepcid at a recent visit, and after I began using it, the majority of my discomfort was totally eliminated. Now I am only dealing with the occasional need for antacid (TUMS are life!!!) and run-of-the-mill muscle soreness due to my growing tummy.
Speaking of which, the bump is definitely becoming more of an obstacle, especially with my work as a barista. Reaching objects and leaning out of drive-thru windows does NOT get easier. I am, however, very glad to still be capable of working. Standing on my feet for long hours is sometimes a challenge, but I appreciate the opportunity to walk around frequently and to interact with my coworkers and customers, rather than being stuck at home.
Aside from the bodily elements of pregnancy, I wanted to open up some of my psychological and emotional observations to you concerning this time.
First, labor and delivery get closer every day. The reality of birthing my baby used to REALLY freak me out! And, if I'm completely honest with you, I still have moments of mild panic. Fortunately, though, my husband Kris and I have been taking childbirth education courses that have truly bolstered my spirits and given me so much more knowledge about the process of birth! It is truly a miraculous thing -- the way God has made the female body -- and I can't believe I never researched it before now.
It's safe to say that we would completely, utterly, and enthusiastically recommend childbirth education to any and all expecting parents. For Kris and I, the classes have bonded us together as a parental team, helped us to have useful discussions about our expectations and anxieties surrounding birth, and even offered much-needed humorous moments. Being human is kinda awkward, but that is a good realization sometimes.
So, my fears about birthing my son have subsided, for the most part. The hardest obstacle for me right now is primarily mental, although the battle in my thoughts does affect my emotions.
I keep encountering the thought that I am a lazy person.
This confession is difficult for me to make because I grew up believing I had a great work ethic and showed up for people when they needed me. At times, this belief became a source of pride and arrogance. Then, through a series of challenges in my early college years, I realized that I had been idolizing productivity and accomplishments. If I could just stay busy enough, I thought, none of the other things in my life would bother me. I could either ignore them or avoid coping with them directly because my mind and heart would be thoroughly occupied elsewhere.
I believe God has used pregnancy to break me of some bad habits that I had fallen back into after originally learning my lesson. My body is frankly tired and exhausted for most of the day. I feel like it is everything I can do sometimes to get out of bed in the morning or off the couch after a long shift at work.
And yet, I have all these goals and desires that I know are good! I want to write a blog that will be a source of blessing for others, and I want to learn how to love my husband better and nurture my relationship with him -- especially in the limited time we have to establish positive patterns before our son is born. I love spending time with friends and family members. I truly desire to invest in the women at my church and learn from their examples as mothers and wives.
As you are well aware, I cannot fulfill each of the aforementioned desires easily. By this statement I mean, none of us has infinite time and resources. We must pick and choose where we will invest ourselves. Recently, I have felt so tugged in multiple directions that I have occasionally given up. I have abdicated. I have failed to show up for others.
Now, my husband (and mother and close friends) would all tell me that I am my own worst critic. And they would be right. How many of us hyper-analyze ourselves to a cruel, unusual, and unnecessary degree? I know that I am not alone in this bad habit.
But the most important thing for me to remember is that I am human. I will make mistakes. The key is what I learn and how I respond to these mistakes. If I sit and cry because I failed (yet again) to produce a blog post on time or I didn't make my husband dinner (or do the dishes or the laundry or take out the trash... *wince*), then what am I accomplishing? All I am doing is getting tear smudges all over my face and a bad headache for later. The better choice, once I have acknowledged my failure, is to confess, repent, and pursue something good.
I may not turn these tough moments around as consistently as I would like, but God is teaching me to get back up after I've fallen. His grace is sufficient for me, and His power is made perfect in weakness (see 2 Corinthians 12:9). What an encouraging thought! I pray that God continues to use my weaknesses -- whether they be physical, mental, emotional, or otherwise -- to reveal His power.
Once again, thank you for stopping by my blog! I appreciate your time and attention, and I hope you enjoyed this post. Next week, I will be continuing the pregnancy series by moving into the third trimester. We will explore the topics of preparing for labor and delivery (what Pinterest gets right and... not so much), the threat of gestational diabetes, baby shower experiences, childbirth education, and #realtalk when it comes to readying your relationship for parenthood. Please let me know if there are any other topics you would like me to cover, and I will have another post for you next week!
Soli Deo Gloria.
- Mama Smith
Stock image from Pexels.com
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