Discernment and motherhood: A slight detour...

Hello, dear friends and readers!

This post will be a little off-topic from the series I have been working on over the past couple weeks, but I think the issues at hand need to be addressed, both in my own life and in the lives of others.

I received a magazine issue recently from fitPregnancy and Baby, and one of the first things I noticed on the cover was the following quote:

"Pregnancy is the moment you find your path to do what you want, when you want."

This quote was taken from an interview with Nikki Reed, an actress and designer who was pregnant at the time.*

Now, I'm not sure how you reacted after reading this quote. Maybe you are in the "Amen, sister!" camp and feel that you immediately like Reed for expressing herself in this way. Perhaps you don't quite agree with her but can't put your finger on why the statement feels wrong. Initially, I reacted somewhere along the lines of, "Umm, NOOOO!!" and briefly considered recording my profound insight in Sharpie on the cover of the magazine (I can be a bit of a drama queen sometimes... Just ask my husband!).

When I first reacted this way, I could think of such a variety of reasons why this sentiment -- as it appeared to me -- was inaccurate and unhealthy for pregnant women. Having a child is not about me! Yes, there is a component of wanting to be a mother that enters the picture. After realizing I was pregnant, however, I knew this journey would be about my family. I am here to serve and love them first and foremost. They are my primary relationships in life, and it is my duty and privilege to put them first. It angered and frustrated me to think that anyone would make motherhood all about themselves.

My purpose in writing this post, however, is to point out that beyond our "knee-jerk" responses to Reed's statement, we haven't actually read the article, at this point. We have chosen to express ourselves emotionally before we have even given the material a chance to mount a defense or thoroughly explain itself.

And this response is exactly what tempted me to write on the topic of this article in the first place. Before reading it in its entirety, I was smugly assured that Reed's outlook would confirm my every assumption about her opinions on pregnancy and motherhood, even though I had only actually been exposed to one brief quote on the cover of a magazine!

While the quote influenced me to assume that Reed was probably motivated by selfishness and a desire to pursue self-discovery -- quite possibly at the expense of her baby and loved ones -- the interview told a completely opposite story.

Under an article subtitle, "Priority Shift," Reed states, "'Being pregnant gave me instant perspective. It's the first time in my life I've passed on anything that isn't exactly what I want to be doing. Pregnancy is the moment you find your path and do what you want, when you want, how you want'" (42, emphasis mine). Reed goes on to talk about how she has adjusted her lifestyle and habits in order to protect her baby's health.

So, despite my original inclination to condemn this article out of hand as narcissistic hogwash, I found that reading it in context helped me. After choosing to momentarily put aside my initial emotional reaction, I encountered the actual content with a mind more open and capable of delaying judgment. Reed, although famous and wealthy, is trying to do what many moms are attempting: prioritize the health and wellness of her child rather than her own personal desires or the expectations of others, an endeavor that I find truly admirable.

While I do not agree with every single thought or sentiment expressed in this article, the way I reacted to it revealed something crucial to me and something that I think we often miss: the fact that our biases can often lead us to ignore opposing views.

Although it could be argued that quick judgments and prejudicial assumptions are part of human nature, the problem with this manner of thinking is that it has become all too common in our current culture, and people no longer realize they are doing it. Instead, they focus primarily on their personal emotional reactions instead of pursuing a more legitimate, reason-based line of thinking. This methodology doesn't focus on actual content but rather on emotional pull and the opinion of the majority.

As a mom with a baby who will soon be entering the world, I need to ask myself, "As a parent, who do I want my son to become?" Do I want him to grow up incapable of hearing an opinion other than his own? Of course, my answer is a resounding, "No!" I would much rather teach him to be discerning instead of encouraging him to willfully ignore opinions that are not compatible with his manner of thinking. Discernment is not the absence of differing thoughts but the ability to choose between the thoughts that are available to you.

Thank you for coming with me on this slight detour from my current series on pregnancy! I hope you found the topic interesting. If you'd like to read the article I mentioned earlier, you can reach it here at Fitpregnancy.com. I would love to hear your thoughts, so feel free to reply in the comments section below or on the Facebook page for Mama Smith Writes.

Thank you again for visiting!

Soli Deo Gloria

- Mama Smith

*The article, entitled "earth mama in the making," was written by Erin Bried. The online version of the article is called "Nikki Reed is Loving Pregnancy: 'It's a Crazy Miracle to Feel This Kid Moving,'" but the written content is the same in both articles. Reed and her husband Ian Somerhalder welcomed their baby daughter Bodhi into the world on July 25.

Stock image from Pexels.com